Random Things

So...I've been chewing on this one for a little over a week.

Several women from the church were gathered last Monday night for a Women's meeting.  We were talking about the recent tragedies (local, national, global) going on that day and as I was talking with one woman, I said, "Jesus, come soon!"

And at that moment it was like the Holy Spirit slapped me in the face and called me selfish!

I was like "Wha???!!! Selfish??"

There was no mistake that the answer was yes.

I was a little shocked by this because I really don't think of myself as a selfish person (but then again, does anyone??)

So, the Holy Spirit revealed to me why what I said was selfish. 

Ouch.

This particular case of selfish attitude boiled down to this...how many people do I know and love do not have a relationship with Jesus?  How many people in this community do not have a relationship with Jesus?  How many people in this world have never even heard the name Jesus?

Slap in the face.  Selfish Sarah *really* thinking "God, get us out of this mess!  And take the easy way!  Send your Son!!!"

Yeah, it was definitely not a proud moment, but I am thankful for what the Holy Spirit did in revealing my selfishness to me.  You see, the Bible tells us (as I have mentioned before) that we are to go and make disciples!  That we are to share the gospel to all people around the world!!

People won't understand that Jesus wants a relationship with them if we don't tell them.  They won't hear the name Jesus unless we say it. 

I think a lot of times we hear that we need to reach those in desolate places and we often times forget about those people in our own neighborhoods.  It's almost as if we all assume that if we live in the US, we all know there's God and that He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins.  Almost as if it's taken for granted.

One of the things I loved about our previous church was that there were little signs above each door exiting the sanctuary that said "You are now entering the missions field".  I LOVE THIS. 

We don't all have to be called missionaries to BE missionaries.  I mean, aren't we, as Christians, ALL missionaries?? 

The definition of missionaries as defined:

mis·sion·ar·y

God just has a way of confirming things!! 

So the past few days I have been wondering how I can share the Gospel with my neighbors and random people in my community.  And in my previous post I mentioned that reaching out might cause more in depth conversations to happen which I feel that I am not equipped to handle.  And then I went on to say that we need to trust the Holy Spirit to give us the words.

Well.

This morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians and I just could not get enough of it!  I believe this was my confirmation...

In 1 Corinthians 1:17 Paul says, "For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power."

BAM!!

Right there.  See? 

And then he goes on in verses 26-31, "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

Man...I can't get enough of this.  LOVE this!  God can use ANY of us??  Seriously?  And He is going to use those of us who you would never imagine He could use?  AND He is going to use us in such a powerful way!! 

Paul also tells the church in Corinth that as they are doing mighty things for God and as they are being blessed to give God the glory and not themselves.  I believe this is key.  We cannot do these things on our own, but we have to trust in the power of the Holy Spirit and believe in the work of the cross!

Paul goes further to show that even he himself was not wise and relied on the power of the Spirit to proclaim the gospel.  In Chapter 2 he writes: "And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God."

So this is my confirmation today that I just need to trust God for the supernatural and do what I can in the natural! 

***This is confirmation for you today, too!!***

Let The World Come to You

This was a tagline used on a business tool that I use on a frequent basis.  I hadn't really noticed it until today.

It is absolutely applicable to the type of product it is...but I couldn't help but think if this is what we, as Christians, are using in our local churches as an unspoken tagline.  

Let The World Come to You

The Bible tells us in Matthew 28:19 "Go therefore and make disciples of  all nations..."

The Bible says GO.

That's an action.  It doesn't say "sit and wait for people to come learn about Me" OR "if you build it they will come!"  Churches have existed for a long time, yet we still have empty chairs...

The Bible gives us a directive.  GO.

DO.

I know I don't do a very good job of sharing my faith with others because I work out of my home office and the people I interact with are all from my church!!  I have no friends outside of my church and this needs to change!  I can talk to anyone so that isn't a problem, but why do I have such a hard time saying "hey, God loves you!"  or "Can I PRAY for you?" 

I think because it opens up a door to a more in depth conversation that I feel like I am not prepared to have.  I am not a theologian.  I did not go to seminary.  All I have is what God has done for me.

Wait, what?!  ALL I have is what God has done for me??!!  This is HUGE! 

I believe that God still works miracles.  He heals.  He cares.  And I know He restores! 

You don't have to be a pastor or missionary or elder to share the Gospel.  Just share your heart.  Depend on the Holy Spirit to give you the right words for the person/people you are speaking with.

Easier said than done.  I know.

I am going to challenge myself in the coming weeks/months to talk to people in my community that I do not know and pray for an opportunity to share the Gospel!  I do not have to use big fancy words...I just need to share God's heart.   He loves us.  Oh, how He loves us!!

I am going to REACH OUT!  :)

Can I challenge you to do the same?  Pray for people to have open hearts, pray for opportunities, pray for divine appointments and then invite people to your church.  Don't assume that just because people are seeking that they will come.  Sometimes a simple invitation or just praying with someone can open a door that might change their entire life.  Share what God has done for you!  You never know who's life you may impact! 

One thing that has changed in my life during the past few years is that I have taken up running.  Am I an avid runner?  Uh...I really don't know what that means, but I do love to get out there and hit the road!  I didn't realize how much of a stress reliever it could be!  WOW!  Love it!

I start the mornings I run by drinking some water, eating a banana and heading out for usually 3-5 miles.  I had been then coming home to drink about 32 oz of water and then a gazillion cups of coffee!  Followed by a bunch more water.  But I tell ya....whenever I drink coffee (and I use the word coffee loosely because of how much creamer I put in!!!) I end up having major blood sugar drops and then pigging out!

So...I quit coffee....again.

And then the headache ensued.

For 4 days.

I almost gave in, but then I was reading in Hezekiah and Romans and all of a sudden my headache lifted.  Thank you, Jesus!! 

I feel so much better without the coffee, but I sure do miss it.  And am drinking oodles of water which is good!  Trying to get back on track with the weight loss.  I was at my lowest weight ever at the end of last year, but since then I have gained back about 20 pounds!  YUCK!  Dropping the coffee and really focusing on my eating/exercise I lost 5.2 pounds last week.  Not healthy, but it's headed in the right direction.  I am hoping to be at least 1 pound LESS than my lowest weight by December 31!

I can do this with help from the Lord!!  :)

And I am still headache free!  No more coffee.  No more caffeine.  It's really healthier that way! :)

So...I've been a pastor's wife for just over 3 months.  And I am just not sure if I am doing it right!!  Ha!

I don't know if people have certain expectations of me...and if they do, I am sorry to say that I will probably disappoint them! I am a HUMAN BEING and will make many many mistakes.  Praise God that I don't have to live up to human expectations!

But...as a human this can be a hard thing to wrap my brain/heart around.

I love people.  I love when people love me.  I don't want to pretend to be someone I am not, but I do not want to NOT meet expectations. 

Sigh.

I feel like I have a very unique view of the lost and broken in our community because I did not grow up in this type of environment.  Sure, we went to church, but I never felt the love of God in any church I attended growing up.  I was taught to fear God, but it was really more of being afraid rather than reverance. 

I don't know these old hymns they sing on Wednesday night, but I am learning them!  I am clapping along and as I read the words and stumble on the melody, I am amazed at the beauty and simplicity of some of the lyrics.

I feel like I am constantly being judged by everyone because I am a pastor's wife.  From what I say, what I do, how I dress, the level of ministry involvement, parenting skills, etc.

This.is.overwhelming.  Perhaps it's just paranoia???

Again...Praise God that I don't have to worry about their judgements!  I only have to worry about God's judgement....sadly, this is tough to live up to as well!  Because I do need to make sure that what I say and what I do is glorifying God and I need to make sure I am dressing modestly (and appropriately for my age) and I do need to be involved in the ministry, but I am not going to go overboard and jump on every ministry as a leader if God is not seeking me to be a leader in these areas.  I also need to make sure I am disciplining AND discipling my children.

Whoa. 

More importantly....I WANT to do all these things!  I WANT to follow God's Word, I want to bear fruit!  I want to have a real relationship...an unshakable relationship, if you will, with God...and all of this makes me want to glorify God with every part of my life.  On the day of judgement, I want God to say that He knew me well...His good and faithful servant.

I want others to see that God loves them.  That God has a place for them!  That God has a plan for their lives and it is NOT TOO LATE!! 

I am quite sure that no one at my church has certain expectations of me or is judging me.  These are simply doubts filling my mind that come straight from the devil!

I love it here.  Everyone has been so wonderful, but I am having a hard time making friends.  And that....is difficult for me.  I've spent the last 3 years trying not to get too close to anyone in Missouri because I knew we'd be leaving, but I am ready to have some God girlfriends!!! 

But....I am the new girl.  Relationships here have been in place for years.  It's tough to disrupt that.  Not that I want to disrupt anything...I just need some girl time.  If you are a girl and are reading this...you probably know what I am talking about :)  Women definitely crave relationships.  For now, I am trying to get closer to God.  I know He will lead me to the right group of gals. 

Oh my...it's been over 3 years since I posted on my blog!!

I guess I thought that since I am no longer an "afwife" I should no longer use this....but perhaps I will just  change the URL of my blog and keep the content.  :)  There's a lot of history here!

The past 3+ years in a nutshell:

- While in Springfield, we had the unbelievable opportunity to get plugged in at James River Assembly.  LOVE this church and all the people there.  We were so blessed to be a part of everything going on there.  Wow.  Just wow.
- In October 2010 (just a few days after we got back from our mission trip to India) I found out I was pregnant with baby #3.  If you know me personally, this is no surprise...just recapping for those who haven't had a chance to catch up with me in a while ;)
- Claire Suzanne Filipek was born on May 24, 2011.  She weighed a whopping 10lbs and was 24 inches long.  Yes, I gave birth to a toddler!  Ha!  Claire was in the NICU for 4-5 days due to an extremely high respiratory rate and very low blood sugar.  The staff at Cox South was amazing and we were able to bring her home on Brian's birthday :)
- While I was pregnant, I became heavily involved at JRA by joining the choir at West campus and helping with the elementary kids.  Loved every minute of it!!!!  Brian soon joined me with the elementary kids and pretty soon he was hooked!
- As soon as I was able to put Claire in the nursery at church I was back at volunteering with the elementary kids and auditioned to be a worship leader...I was selected to lead worship and through a series of trials, started leading in the kid's area and didn't look back!
- Brian went to kids camp as a counselor - this was Katie's first time at camp and I will never forget how wonderful Mandi was with her (thank you Mandi!!!!) - and he came back with a major sunburn and a mohawk.  Ha!  He also came back knowing he was called to children's ministry!
- I began running when Claire was about 6  weeks old and lost about a total of 70 lbs!!!!!  WOO HOO!
- Kasey FINALLY began school and just loved riding the bus to Kindergarten and 1st grade.  He started 2nd grade last week.  My oh my....these kids are getting too big too fast!!  We just loved the faculty and staff at Willard Central and will never forget our friends there!
- Katie started 4th grade last week.  YES, 4th GRADE!!!!   Sigh...
- Brian successfully completed his Masters degree in May of this year and I couldn't be more proud of him.  He is amazing!!!!!  He was offered a Children's Pastor position in Verdigris, OK and we moved here on May 22! 
- We are just loving it here....we both never imagined ourselves in Oklahoma, but here we are!  All 5 of us :) 


I know I left out a ton of details.  Maybe there will be back stories as I try to get back into the habit of blogging.

I wanted to thank Jessica for reminding me that this was still alive and kicking and also for the beautiful words of encouragement last week!

It's late...I've gotta get up and take my big kids to school in the morning and go for a nice long run! 

I look forward to getting back in touch here and posting on a regular basis.

God is good!  :)