Random Things

I don't know how to start this blog out...it might be a bit more serious than I usually post but I feel that I need to get this out there. (Please keep in mind that I am really not great at writing and I usually don't have the right words so I am asking God for guidance!)

I recently rededicated my life to Jesus Christ. I was saved in July of 2002 (Deb, I will have to share the story with you sometime!). And I worshipped with a lot of passion during the few months after this. I think it was easy because I was surrounded by fellow Christians and I wanted to go to church and praise Jesus. I was so eager to do so and felt the love of God all around me. If you don't remember, Brian was away in Texas at Tech School for the Air Force during this time and I was living in Colorado Springs completely surround by Brian's loving family. I was in love with Jesus during this time and I couldn't imagine ever walking away.

Brian got orders to Utah and we moved there the first week of October. I started separating myself from God and spent my time concentrating on everything else. I made every excuse in the book NOT to go to church. I have to admit that I was somewhat "afraid" of the Mormons out there. So I didn't go to church because Brian didn't want to go, or I wanted to sleep in, or I had dishes to wash or there was a fabulous sale somewhere....whatever. I made so many excuses!

But I felt God pulling at my heart...and I just wanted to go to church so bad!! But I just couldn't bring myself to go alone. And there again came more and more excuses.

While I was pregnant with Katie I was just too darn tired to do anything let alone praise Jesus. I sort of felt like "Ok, I am listening to Christian music most of the time and watching some of the church services on TV...isn't that enough?) I know now that I really should have been praying during this time especially realizing now how my life (and Katie's) was in some pretty serious danger towards the end of the pregnancy. But I turned to doctors and friends and family instead of God.

Brian left for Iraq Jan 2, 2005. Katie and I went out to Colorado Springs for the 4 months he was gone and I once again found myself eager to praise God. I was hungry to learn and absorb as much as I could. It was so easy for me to do so being surrounded by those who also were eager to do so. (Oh, and we had a really great time out there - I will never forget it!!!!)

It was great! Initially I felt a lot of guilt for having separated myself for so long, but He forgives!! It took me a while to come to terms with that, but I was so happy after I learned and accepted this. All I wanted to do was worship! But I didn't really know how to pray on my own and felt stupid asking for "pointers" so I kept this part to myself. I still hadn't learned yet that we need to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I was baptized on April 2, 2005! What a wonderful day!! I proclaimed to the world (well those present during the baptism anyway) that I believe in Jesus Christ and that He is my Savior! There is no way to the Father, but through Him!!

And then Brian came back from Iraq...Katie and I went back to Utah and the cycle started again.

I separated myself once again.

Once again I walked away from God and ignored the plan He had for my life.

Fast forward a few years...

I found myself in a bad place recently - I really don't want to get into the details here on my blog and those of you who know will understand. Those of you who don't know...please don't ask. If I feel like talking about someday I will. Just know that it is all in the past and we are all moving forward. :-)

I looked for help in all the wrong places.

I had people praying for me, but I wasn't praying and seeking.

God placed people in my life to help give me the push I needed.

Finally I realized that I just needed God and I went to a church here in Crestview. AND IT WAS AMAZING!!! Absolutely amazing!! I never want to turn my back again! I am absolutely in love with the Lord and love all of these amazing people I have met during the past couple of months. I am taking a Bible Study course because for me, I get the big picture, but am hungry for all of the details. I want to know MORE!!!

I know I need Jesus in my life and just a few days ago He really put it on my heart that I need to help bring people to Jesus through music. I don't know the details, but I am taking small steps and asking for guidance each and every day. I cannot get enough!!!! I am seeking and praying and finding friendships and there are so many lovely and caring people in this community!

This is a big thank you first and foremost to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior!!! and to the people at The First Assembly of God church. I have already fallen in love with this place and want to do what I can to serve the Lord. Thanks to Diane for her wonderful teachings in Bible study and to Pastor Mark for your wonderful sermons that have really been speaking to Brian and I. Thank you to Christy for the wonderful Dream Life 2009 event! What a GREAT EVENING!!! Thank you to all the wonderful women for making me feel loved when you had no idea what it is that I needed. You truly are a great bunch of women and I feel SO blessed to be a part of this church.

I know I am feeling a lot of energy right now because this is sort of new and exciting all over again, but I want to continue this energy and grow as a Christian. Our God is an awesome God and I know He loves me!!

I don't know if this really counts as a testimony as there is a TON I have left out, but I really hope this has touched at least one person out there reading this.

There have been so many wonderful scriptures that I have read over the past couple of months but this one stands out right now: Luke 11:9 says "So I say to you: Keep asking, and it will be given you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you."

Well I certainly feel better putting this all out there. I know God has been tugging on my heart my entire life. And it wasn't until recently that it was absolutely evident. Normally I would be embarrassed putting this all out there, but I am a changed woman and I love the Lord! I just pray that this passion never dies and that I am this excited for the rest of my life!

Now...I am sure my posts going forward won't be this serious - I mean...we all know that if there is a serious bone in my body it has got to be the tiniest little bone you have ever seen! I just feel so much passion right now and wanted to let everyone know!

Have a blessed week!!!