Random Things

Haha! I got this email from a dear friend today and had to post. This should give those of you in South Dakota a little chuckle.

South Dakota Barbies on the shelf for Christmas

Sioux Falls Barbie
This queen Barbie is sold only at Macy's. She comes with an assortment of Chanel Handbags, a Volvo, a French poodle named Charisse, and a Lincoln County McMansion. Plastic surgery available upon request. Hey, she has to look beautiful when she works at KELOland TV. CitiBank Ken sold separately.

Rapid City Barbie
This tough little sport comes with optional hiking boots or mountain bike. When she's not selling magnets at Mount Rushmore, she can be spotted off-roading in her Land Rover or running on the bike path. Inhaler included to give relief during forest fires. Buy her while you can because Ken works at Ellsworth and might be getting transferred!

Spearfish Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Ocean . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Spearfish Barbies and the optional Hybrid Toyota, you get a 'Free Tibet' bumper sticker for free.

Aberdeen Barbie
This 'Frost Queen' comes with an entire winter wardrobe! Her parka is reversible and can be used as an emergency igloo whenever needed. Package includes a shrink for seasonal depression.

Vermillion Barbie
This young, hip girl actually comes with her own pepper spray. Her USD sweater is made of real wool and her Cavalier gets great mileage between the Empire Mall and Vermillion. Available keg with purchase of makeup. Ken doll sold separately with broken cell phone... he never seems to calls back.

Mitchell Barbie
This brassy, tobacco-chewing gal comes with camouflage overalls, Cabela's Credit Card, and a rifle. She can be found just north of town shooting pheasants and drinking an ice cold 40. Cabela Ken available with purchase of Chevy Silverado.

Brookings Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan or Honda Odyssey Minivan with matching Wal*Mart sweats. She gets lost easily while taking Stacy to her soccer games and has no full-time occupation other than the PTA. Ken doll sold with matching Daktronics company car.

Sturgis Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, leather chaps, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Harley sold separately along with deadbeat Ken. Jail uniform available with purchase of Mobile Home.

Belle Fourche Barbie
This model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans, a NASCAR t-shirt and Care Bears tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Johnny Cash CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her Mega Ton Dodge Dually pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Deadwood Barbie
She may be a 75 year-old, Brandy drinking, Virginia Slim smoking cuss, but she has more audacity than Calamity Jane. She just got out from Gambler's Anonymous and needs to get rid of some spare change. Deadwood Barbie can be found at the Monday night 'Kevin Costner Fanclub' meeting just down the street from Cadillac Jack's Prime Rib Buffet. Ken comes free, but is usually working two jobs to keep a roof over their head.

Pierre Barbie
She comes with scooter and a state employee ID card, bowling ball, pool stick and dart case. Khakis can be rolled into capris. Ken available with purchase of fishing boat.